The End of My Days in India, Orchard Hut, April 28 to May 16

an Intrepid guest from Australia and the farm dog

. . . about 12 kilometers (about 7.5 miles) from the town of Chamba in the Panj-la Valley in a village called Chadiara

April 28, Wednesday – Another group of Intrepid travelers arrived today. Their guide is a young man from Darjeeling. This area is composed primarily of Nepalese people. He looks more oriental than Indian. (for the reader that knows I’ve made a mistake in using the word “oriental” please forgive me for at this moment I have no knowledge what it is that I call a person who looks “Asian.” Here again I get myself into trouble because the world leaders have also labeled India as Asian. Oriental and Asian to me mean people from China, Japan, Korea, Thailand, Myanmar, and such like that. The idea of labeling someone from India as Asian seems inappropriate to me from what I learned growing up) In fact another guest mistook him for not even being Indian. It wasn’t until he spoke Hindi that it was discovered that he was born in India. He told me that before his becoming a guide he had been employed as a government employee working on a computer for most of his working day. He has a bachelor’s degree and had come to Delhi to get his masters when he was offered this government job. After working five years in that job he realized that office jobs and further college education was not for him. Being a guide, out in nature, and not being part of the business world is what he truly wanted and this job as a guide was his first one away from the corporate world.

The guide told me that the people in his area are very desirous of obtaining their own state hood for they feel that they aren’t being recognized nor their needs being met. Darjeeling is next to Nepal and below Sikkim. This area and the area to its east that are part of India have a lot of upset in their history what with all the other countries that have wanted to have power and / or control in these areas. There’s a state that is named Nagaland in that very north-east section of India so off from the major area of India I, at first, didn’t even realize it was part of India. When I first heard of Nagaland I thought someone was teasing me. My first thought upon hearing this word was places such as Disneyland and Legoland and Toyland. I was quite surprised to learn of a place called Nagaland. My initial reaction to the name Nagaland is a good example of not being very geographically educated and a bit narrow-minded.

One of the Intrepid travelers is from Chicago, Illinois. A Canadian I had met at the Hut a few days earlier had told me that the only Americans that travel that she has knowledge of are those from California or New York, no where else. Well, to any of you who think that the only Americans that travel are Californians or New Yorkers, this Chicagoan proves you are mistaken. At dinner that night the table was graced (I know that depends on your perspective) with an American from the east coast, the west coast and the Midwest. How cool, hu? Three people from America eating dinner together in a farmer’s house high up on the mountainside in the Himalayas of India.

April 29 – Meditated one hour, feet up ½ hour. I just hung out, outside of my room most of the day, socializing with any of the Intrepid travelers that I picked up a conversation with. I learned a lot about the life of the traveler from Chicago. We talked a great deal of time. He was originally from St. Vincent in the Caribbean. He came to America to go to college and just out of college he was contacted and offered a job at the hospital he is working at now sixteen years later. He told me of his family life, his coming out, his family’s reactions, his financial planning, his current mate and his plans for retirement. I enjoyed his sharing and we exchanged Facebook information. I’d love to be able to go to Chicago again, the place where my mother was born, and be able to meet up with him also. Chicago has made it self into a very beautiful city and has much to offer to all who partake of it.

April 30 – The only thing I did of any significance, meaning that it was something meaningful for me, is that I asked Phalguni for a walking stick that I could use when I go walking on these asinine (ooopppps, forgive me) mountainsides. I read today.

May 1 – Meditate one hour; feet up ½ hour. I found the walking stick on the floor outside my door when I woke up. Did I use it that day? Nope! I read today.

May 2 – I woke up at 6:00 am. I did a bunch of little tasks. I tried to meditate but I couldn’t concentrate. About 9:00 a.m. I went downstairs. I went into the kitchen and stayed until 11:00 a.m. I found out they had no one to make meals for that morning except for myself. When the family eat, they do so in the kitchen, they sit around the fire area and mom dishes out some food for them. They either sit on the floor on top of a corn husk mat made by a local person or a little stool and eat their meal. I sat near the fire with my back up against a wall. I ate three freshly made chapatis with 3 slices of buffalo cheese. That cheese is real good. It’s a white cheese and has a tart taste to it. It’s wrapped like American cheese but it’s made here. They don’t make it themselves; they buy it in the market.

So, without knowing that the family had no work to do that morning for guests I went into the kitchen just to take a peek, was asked to sit down and joined the family in their kitchen for a good deal of time and truly shared food with them. Usually when it is a meal time, the guests are served in the dining room. Family and staff do not eat with guests nor at same time. They eat when the guests have finished eating.

The food Sneh was making that morning was chapatis and paranthas. Both are made from the same dough. It is just wheat flour and water. Once the dough is made a piece is broken off, rolled into a ball, coated with wheat flour, then rolled with a baleen (a rolling stick, but only about 5” long). The ball is rolled into a round shape, just like a tortilla. If it is to be a chapati, once it is rolled to the desired thickness, it is placed on a hot griddle to cook. It is flipped over to cook the other side. For a parantha, when the dough has been rolled out enough it is folded into quarters, then rolled out again. While the parantha is being cooked a bit of oil is spooned onto both sides.

While I was eating, along with Nitin and Phalguni I asked questions about life in India. One of the things I asked about is what they spread on their floors. Nitin, the oldest son, told me it was cow dung, just what I had thought. He said it is put down to keep the dust down. He told me that the first 48 hours dung is antibacterial, he also said that walking on it is healthy for you. I have seen them take this cow dung and spread it on their front steps and all over the kitchen area. Nitin said that because a cow has four stomachs and all they eat is grass what comes out as dung is very pure and useful. There is also a lot of flies in the house as well as around the house. Is it because of this dung? I know that I’m fed up with these flies. You sit on the veranda and flies are numerous, flying all over your glass, dishes, face, hands, everywhere Even when I’m in the computer room, flies are all over me. I hate flies and them being all over me. In the bathroom they fly on your butt as they were in the bowl before you even sat down. As I write this, I’m grimacing. I see a picture of this cow. I see all those cow poop piles I’ve come across. I think of all that methane gas scientists say cows are expelling in to the environment and polluting the environment with. All of my mind is thinking bacteria when it comes to poop, poop of any kind. I made a comment about the idea of cow dung just doesn’t seem to be a concept I could go along with. Phalguni just gave me this look as if to say it’s what we do here and it has it’s reasons and quit being a stupid foreigner about our reasons for using cow dung.

In regards to cows I asked Nitin if he knew why cows in Delhi and Gurgoan were allowed to roam free but ones I’ve seen in villages are tied up. He told me that along with modernization male cows use to humans has decreased, machines are replacing the work cows used to do. The owners of these roaming cows have abandoned them. No one has any responsibility for them. I asked about the cows eating garbage, I thought they were only grass-eating creatures. He told me that they’re hungry and they have resorted to eating all sorts of things, crap! Nitin said that there is an effort to gather up all these abandoned cows and place them in a safe environment, away from the streets.

May 3 – Up at 6:00 a.m. Meditate one hour, feet up ½ hour. While I was having breakfast I had an opportunity to speak with Vinayak, the youngest son who is 16. I found out that he was not in school today because today is the first day of his 50 day vacation from school. He said that his school gives them their longest vacation during summer but he would like it if they would have their longest vacation during the winter because it is harder to have to go to school then. He told me that everyone that goes to school has to pay. He did mention though that the government recently started a program for families with only a single girl, that female child could go to school for free. I asked him what he thought of that and he told me that he didn’t think it was fair to those of families with only one son.

The house here is in a frenzy of cleaning. Everyone is involved in cleaning everything. Rugs being taken out and beat. Shelves being emptied and everything washed. My God I feel like I’m in a cyclone of furious activity to have this place without a speck of debris anywhere. I asked Phalguni if they cleaned like this often and she told me they do it every month. Wow! Puts me to shame. I think I might clean like this maybe once a year if not even less.

Since I have come here I keep feeling sick to my stomach after every meal. I also am a little tired of having the same food every day. Also, I was looking at what my expenses would be if I went on to Dharamasala from here to take the Vipassana course and the Introduction to Buddhism course and the yoga courses. The Vipassana course has a waiting list. The fact that my stomach keeps on feeling sick after every meal and in looking at the expenses after I left Orchard Hut and the knowledge that I might not get into one of the courses and what would I do if that were the case, I felt in such a funk that I called the airlines to find out how much it would cost me to change my flight. I was told it wouldn’t cost me anything. So thinking that I’ve been in India for three months and I’ve accomplished what I came here to do, also lost quite a bit of weight while here, that my tummy keeps on feeling bad after I eat something, that rather than spend any more of my money in India versus spending it at home for my urban food forest, publishing efforts and maybe even self publishing, and that it’s too hot for me to travel any more in India, I decided to change my flight and come home even earlier. I set it for May 19. That means I leave Orchard Hut May 16, May 17 at the latest. That gives me May 17 and May 18 to do what I still want to do in Delhi, see the dentist, Dr. Kamala, for sure as my teeth still need to be finished. I will look into taking a train back to Delhi; hopefully I will finally be able to take a train in India.

May 4 – Up at 4:00 a.m. Meditated two hours, feet up ½ hour. I found out the reason for their frenzy of cleaning yesterday. A film crew is here to do a piece on the enterprise here and Chamba. I did some sun bathing today outside my room. I don’t have a bathing suit with me so I just put on my sleeveless blouse and my shorts and enjoy the sun wearing that. After lunch I went out to the pool and just sat alongside it. I even sat along side the pool and dangled my feet in the water for quite a while. I have yet to go swimming in that pool. I haven’t gotten around to it and it is cold water, fresh spring water. I talked with Vinayak and Bhuvan while I sat there. Vinayak told me that there was another pool in this area. It was shaped like an egg and it had a bottom like one also. He said it wasn’t a good shape for people to swim in so they decided to make the current one. It has two levels of depth which makes it easier for those that don’t know how to swim to just wade in the water. Prakash told me that having a pool and in that location has something to do with Vastukala (the Indian Fung Shei). When I get back home I want to read up on this Vastukala and maybe use some of the ideas when I re do my bedroom.

I asked Naveen, the son-in-law, to inquire about getting me a train ticket to Delhi. Naveen runs the travel agency in Chamba for the family. They have access to jeeps they utilize when they have tourists who request service for such. I do wonder how the Dhami family is doing financially. The house is quite large. They recently added four bathrooms to the back of the house. I’m the first one to use the one attached to my room. No wonder why my bathroom was so pristine when I saw it for the first time. It had never been used and it made me think they were meticulous cleaners here. Sneh told me that they would be adding a modern kitchen in the fall. I still don’t understand where it is that she said that kitchen would be. She said it would be above the existing one but that is where the sleeping rooms are, as far as I can tell. Off to the side of the main house they added a building that consists of two very spacious guest rooms, a few smaller ones and another toilet area. This place, in fact, does have a lot of toilets. I think there are at least twelve on the grounds. Each toilet area also has a shower area. Speaking of bathrooms I have yet to see one with a bathtub. I keep looking at people’s toes to see how they’re pedicured because when I take a bath is when I take care of my cuticles and smoothing out the rough skin. I wonder how others take care of their pedicuring. I keep thinking along the lines of soaking your feet in a bathtub to do so, so without a bathtub , my mind tells me how can they take care of their pedicures (although I am perfectly aware of the possibility that there are other ways of taking care of your cuticles, I just don’t know them).

May 5 – Other than a torrential rainfall today not much to write about. About 3:00 p.m. the winds started picking up something horrendous. I was in my room when they started. I went out on to my verandah to try to get a better feel of what was going on. Prakash came into the room next to mine to close the windows there and saw me and told me to get into my room. Along with the winds came an awful downpour of rain. That awful weather lasted for several hours. It was the worst I’ve experienced since I’ve been here in India. Of course, no electricity again. The winds were so strong that Prakash and his staff were going about the property looking for ways to keep things buckled down. Many pieces of housing blew off. Some of the pieces hit places that caused breakage.

Naveen and Nitin both told me that they there were no seats available on a train out of Pathenkot to Delhi. Naveen said that three days before the departure date he can look for a booking on the seats reserved for emergencies. He said it will cost Rs 250 more for one of these tickets. I was told that it would take five hours to get to Pathenkot, then another twelve hours on the train to get to New Delhi. If I were to take a bus out of Chamba to New Delhi the total amount of time is sixteen hours. For me getting on the bus in Chamba and having it go directly to New Delhi is so much easier than getting a bus to Pathenkot, then meeting up with someone there to take me to the train station, then getting on a train there and going to Delhi. Naveen and Nitin say that the comfort of the bus versus the train is worlds apart but I’ve already been on that bus to Chamba from Manali for eighteen hours so I’m versed on the discomfort of a bus for that long of a journey. When I told Naveen to forget about getting me a ticket on the train he threw up his hands and said he wasn’t responsible for my comfort if I wanted to take the bus to Delhi; he would never do such a thing. Oh well, I know the bus is not comfortable and you have heard me say so and strongly that it is not but I can be five hours on a bus to take me to the train and then travel twelve more hours on a train or I can be sixteen hours on a bus continually traveling to Delhi and not have to unload my luggage and load it up again and unload it again. Pathenkot is five hours west of Chamba then I would go south. Bus from Chamba to Delhi is pretty much just going south, I think. Now that I think of what I was told, maybe this bus also goes to Pathenkot then starts going south to Delhi. Who cares? At this stage in the game I just want to get on some type of transportation, stay on it, and arrive in Delhi in time for me to get on a plane to take me home.

May 6 – Woke up to find no electricity again. At 6:00 a.m. went down to ask for a pot of hot water along with my jar of Nescafe Instant Coffee. Ended up having two pots of instant coffee. When I went out to the verandah to sit down and read I saw a lady on the front lawn looking about. Only 6:00 a.m. and someone is already up and about. She must have arrived last night during the storm. In the room next to my mine I heard new voices of those who also probably arrived during the storm last night.

The night before Sneh had made roti (wheat bread) for lunch; the first time since I’ve been here. I asked Vinayak if I could have two of them to take with me so I could eat them later that evening if I got hungry. I didn’t eat them last night so I had them this morning with my coffee. I also went into the refrigerator and grabbed two pieces of buffalo cheese to eat with the bread. Yum, yum!

While sitting at the table on the verandah eating my delicious meal of home-made bread and buffalo cheese and sipping my coffee the lady I saw on the front lawn came up and introduced herself to me. She sat down and we started talking. Her name is Sonali. She is working as an administrator with an organization that offers classes to children who live in the slums near Mumbai. Her career life has been very varied. Her education is quite extensive also. Her first job was in the sciences and just by chance she got into education and says that she feels like she has found her niche for her profession. She lives in a city called Pena near Mumbai. She says she and her husband don’t like living there, it is so crowded and that they are hoping to adopt a village and move there. Sonali is into yoga and she was also born into the Jain religion. I found it very interesting to talk to her and I got her name, email address and the organization she works for with the slum schools. As I spoke to her I was thinking that she would be a fantastic contact person for Cara if she wants to come to India.

I also found out that she indeed did come in that torrential downfall of last night. They had traveled by car to get to Orchard Hut Road and while traveling the wind and rain was coming down horribly. She said she was quite frightened. The people in the room next to me are her in laws and they too had come up last night. What can a traveler do in this setting? You are in a car on a one lane road and the only thing around you is this little tea stall, nothing is set up where you can take shelter from weather such as this. Get back in the car, turn around and find accommodations back in Chamba? I do wonder why Orchard Hut doesn’t make a connection with the people who live next to the tea stall for situations such as this. People in India are known for their hospitality to strangers. It would seem like a natural step to have in place for times when the weather is not conducive to walking up the mountain.

I spent a good part of the day reading and finishing a book. It was about India and a woman who married into a Rajastan family who practiced punjab. It was very interesting. I at first found it impossible to believe that a woman who was not raised having to practice punjab would marry into a family that would require her to do so. The story took you into her head and shared with you the ideas that developed that allowed her to tolerate and eventually respect the family’s practices even to conceding to having her daughter engaged at a young age to another punjab practicing family.

At 4:00 p.m. I didn’t have anything on my agenda to do so I thought I would take advantage of the television. Again, no electricity! The sun is out; it will not be down for another 2 – 3 hours. Okay, Nora, get your walking stick and walk down that mountain and up again. It should take you no more than 2 – 3 hours. I did it! My first time since I’ve set foot at the Hut. Pretty bad, I know. I got here April 20 and today is May 6. The sixteenth day being here and I finally walk off the house area of this property! Very , very sad, I know.

Walking down I had thoughts about getting lost as there were many paths to be seen in front of one; one has to know which path it is they need to take to get all the way down. Vinayak told me to take the wider paths so that’s what I did. It made sense to me because those are the ones that have been traveled most by people coming and going to the hut. My walking stick in hand I began the descent. The walking stick was a great help to me because as I went down I put the stick in the ground in front of me and it made me feel like I wasn’t being pushed down by gravity, no pounding on my knees with the weight coming down only on them; the stick took some of that weight off. Almost at the end I came to this area that truly didn’t look like it was a people crossing. It had a lot of overgrowth and was dark and kind of like a tunnel. Fortunately for me there was a man working near by and he saw my hesitation and gestured for me to go ahead. I said road and he continued the gesture. Whether he understood what I had to say or not I have no idea. I think my hesitation alone was all that was needed to communicate to him what information I was needing at that moment and he gave me the gesture I needed to continue walking forward. I did it! I saw the tea stall. I walked up to the road and crossed it! I made it down the mountainside! Yee pee! Nora!

During my walk I saw other houses. Most of the houses are small in comparison to the one Dhamis live in. They are all rectangular in shape. A lot of the houses are two-story. For some of these two-story homes, the first story is where the animals live and the second is where the family lives. In fact I’ve learned that Phalguni and her family are to move into another house on Dhami’s property that is made in this way. The animals below will be removed though as they have another barn they can move the animals to. Other two-story houses around here look like only people live in them. There is a house I can see from Dhami’s house down by the road that looks much larger than his and the fields in front appear to be larger, more maintained and more productive. The colors of the houses are bright. A lot of turquoise, dark red, peach, orange to name a few. I saw people out and about tending to their chores, laundry hanging out on whatever would suit the purpose so that they could dry, cows, goats, human tenders of these animals, threshing occurring, people slicing their wheat down, wheat being collected, bundled and hauled off to the next step of its processing. The clothes that were worn were Indian on the women whereas the men were wearing both western and Indian. The Indian wear for men is a round flat top hat, a kurta and pajamas trousers. If my memory serves me correctly I also think a scarf around their neck and shoulders. I am told the women wear this round flat top hat also but I haven’t seen any. There was a moment when I was walking toward a house that I heard the laughter of children that was coming from around the house and not within but when I got near the house not a soul was in sight as if they had run into the house not wanting to come in contact with a foreigner. I saw some men at a field and they were removing big rocks, some even boulders from the land. Let me mention that any land that I see on this mountain has rocks from small pebbles to big boulders. This whole area is just full of them and I know that makes it difficult to farm this land. In order to farm one first has to remove all these stones. The land cannot be farmed with all of them present. That alone is a big deterrent for a lot of farmers to want to farm a piece of land but here that’s all they have to choose from so what they must do, they do. I’ve seen many a wall in this area made out of stone and I know they are also used to build the walls of houses. There were many areas where water was flowing freely along the path I walked. In some of these water sources a conduit was attached to it to allow access to the water for whatever purpose, probably primary was to get a drink of water. If the water coursing by disrupted the path, rocks were put over the area to allow for ease of access.

On the way back up the hill, again, thank you God for the walking stick! With the walking stick I felt I could accomplish climbing Mount Everest. I took that stick, stuck it into the ground in front of me and used my arms and my legs to take the next steps. I walked very very slowly. I would take two steps, stop, breathe, take two steps again. I kept up this process the whole way of walking back up the mountainside. I know there were locals peering through their windows watching this spectacle but I do not care how pitiful I looked. I only know that I was able to walk down to the tea stall and walk back up to the Hut. The sight I created was of no significance to me.

There was a moment when I was only about 1/16 away from the hut when I came to this structure, the path before me was full of loose small rocks and it didn’t look like there was a path to continue after this patch of loose rocks. I thought I might have taken a wrong turn and was off the correct path. I had brought my cell phone with me and rather than trying to figure it out on my own I called Prakash. It was getting dark and I didn’t want to take the chance of being out there in the dark still trying to find my way back or having to walk up that mountainside in the dark not being able to see clearly what my foothold was. He had someone come down to meet me. If I had only continued that same direction before calling him I would have come to the next bend and then shortly thereafter I would have come to the laundry area then the hammocks. So close, and I caved in and called to ask for help.

I made it. I got to the Hut eager for that beer I had called Prakash earlier to put in the freezer for me so I’d have a nice icy cold one! And guess what? Did I get a nice icy cold one? Nope, electricity still out so it only was put in the cold water pool. It wasn’t as cold as I would have liked but beers beer and I deserved it after that walk. While I was sitting and drinking my beer, Neha, the TV producer came over and started talking to me. She is only 30 years old and a producer (also found out later that she is a celebrity). Prakash had already told me that they might want to interview me for the feature. I needed to be on my toes with my replies to her.

May 7 – Another rainy day today. I had woken up at 6:00 a.m. I did my meditation, feet up and some yoga stretches. About 9:00 a.m. weather gray and icky again. I went back to sleep. I spent the day out on the verandah of the third floor near the sleeping quarters of the family. I don’t know if I was able to do that but no one told me I needed to go elsewhere so I sat there, read the newspaper and some magazines and even ate my lunch.

It was a cold day and I saw Sneh putting on her thin cotton shawl so I decided it was a good time to give her the yak wool shawl I had bought for myself that I had decided to give her as her birthday present. I had worn it when I first came to the Hut as it was cold. She had complimented me on it. When I found out her birthday was May 20, I was thinking of what I had that I could give her. The shawl had to be it. Giving her the shawl versus me keeping it made so much more sense to me as the weather here calls for a shawl such as this one whereas in California, it would be a waste of a nice warm shawl. I don’t like to wear sweaters and coats and wraps anyhow so she will be a more deserving owner of that shawl. I have two more shawls I bought along with that one so I’ll not be without a shawl from India.

I had also asked Sneh about her making a meat dinner as she had told me that her family eats meat. This morning I had called my sister and I was asked about what I had been eating while I was in India. I replied that I hadn’t eaten meat but a time or two and it made my mouth water thinking of the possibility of a meat meal made by Sneh and I was wondering if it would be possible for her to cook some meat as I knew she was a good cook. I said that I would love to have some lamb. After giving her the shawl I think she felt she had to come through with some meat for me. Her first reply was that we would have chicken and I said that I’ve already had chicken in India; I’d love to have some lamb. She said she would ask Mr. Prakash. He came by shortly after that and she showed him the shawl. He told me thank you also. I mentioned to him my inquiry about having lamb and he also said we were going to have chicken tomorrow as if that was a great treat. I told him also that I wanted to have lamb but in a sweet not spoiled manner of speaking. He told me he would call to have some for tonight. A couple of days later I found out from Nitin that it was not lamb but goat; they don’t have lamb in the area. I also asked Nitin the cost of lamb / goat / chicken. He told me they were about the same price. I was happy to hear that because after asking for lamb I felt guilty, thinking that it was more expensive than chicken.

The dinner of lamb was good. It was the first time I had meat at the hut. I do not know how the lamb was cooked but it was served to me in a bowl with some sauce. There was fat on the lamb. Along with the lamb she served a spread made of garlic and garlic greens to put on the meat. It was real good. I just ate the lamb and rice, none of the other food that was served for dinner. I even asked for seconds of the lamb. It tasted good but not delicious or mouth-watering. She also served it with the bones and there were many of them and big ones which I was not happy with. When I got seconds, more than half of it was bones. I was not impressed

Have I told you about the farm-house pets? They have a dog named Bravo and a cat named Shady. Those names sound like ones out of a western movie, what do you think? Bravo is a big dog but well muscled and a friendly guy. He is also very tolerant of little Rupashana’s antics with him; she manhandles him so roughly and he just remains motionless and takes it. The cat is sleek and lean, very aristocratic looking. The first days that I was here it was cold and she loved to get on people’s laps and snuggle and just go to sleep. When it got warmer her like for humans seems to have diminished. I have found out that she is pregnant and will be delivering this month. If I lived nearby I think I would make it a point to get one of those kittens; a beautiful cat. What I find very interesting is that neither animal has fleas. How is that? In the city our animals get fleas but here in the rural area fleas don’t go on animals? I wonder what keeps the fleas from being on these animals out here.

May 8 – At breakfast I had asked Sneh about the dishes she served and the spices she used. I had started a list and she looked at it. She told me that she learned how to cook by watching and I need to watch her to learn how to cook. She told me I could come help her for dinner.

I walked down to the tea stall again today and back up the mountainside. I saw many other people walking on the path today and smiled and said hello to them. There were women near the river washing their clothes and I said “namaste” to them. They all smiled back at me and seemed happy to acknowledge me. Their response made me feel good.

Today I made an attempt to find a way to walk along the river. I got off the main path and walked toward it. The land just before the river has a lot of water in it so walking in it one has to be careful so you don’t find your leg knee-deep in water nor your shoes sucked into the mud. When I got to the river the area up river and down river had lots of rocks so if I wanted to walk along the river it looked like a lot of rock walking or climbing which I am not in to. I had hoped that I might come across someone who was fishing and get them to let me buy a fish from them so we could have it for dinner but I’ve not seen a fisherman yet. Sneh tells me you can get fish from the river but my luck has not brought me across any fishermen.

When I walked back up the mountain, the washer women were in front of me. At one point they stopped and just looked at me. I asked them if they spoke English and I got a “No” gesture. I told them that they didn’t have to wait up for me as I walked very slow, they could keep on going ahead. Here they are with loads of clothes they had just washed walking up that mountain as if they were walking down my level street in Monterey Park.

A group of about twenty people arrived today. Most of them are in their 20s. It is a college trip. The college is a private one in Salt Lake City, Utah. The teachers as well as the students all look to be white.

About 7:00 p.m. I went in to the kitchen to offer my services to help with the dinner. Sneh just had me sit down and didn’t have me do anything. I just sat and watched. She told me she learned how to cook by watching. I would rather have been doing something in the preparations as I felt guilty just sitting there while everyone was running around doing stuff for the dinner for the great number of guests at the dinner meal. The chicken spoken about yesterday was made for this group and not on my behalf. Ah ha! No wonder Sneh and Prakash both told me we will have chicken tomorrow when I asked for lamb yesterday. Since this group was arriving right before dinner all of the family was required to meet them. I had forgotten that when Sneh asked me if I wanted to eat with the newly arriving guests or in the kitchen. I had said kitchen thinking I would be eating with Sneh and/or other family members. I ended up eating alone which I was sad to do but at least I didn’t have to wait to eat until after 9:00 p.m.

May 9 – I had a strong desire to cut my hair today. I had an idea of just taking sections of my hair as if to roll it in curlers and clipping the dead ends off. I started to do it and then thought that maybe Phalguni was not busy and she might want to do it for me. I went to find her and asked her. She said yes but before she started she said that her daughter had woken up from a nap so she couldn’t. Oh well, I went back to the bathroom and continued my own cutting. I think I got rid of all my brown hair. I only have gray hair now. It looks like I did a pretty good job of getting rid of all the dead ends. My hair seems to have more bounce and curliness to it.

May 10 – I got up at 4:00 a.m. For the first part of my day please look to my paper titled “No Big Deal.”

Before lunch I showered, fixed my hair and sprayed it, put on some makeup and went out. Neha complimented me on how I looked. I thought that was very good considering she is into appearances so that made me feel like I had done a good job not only in how I fixed myself up but that I did a good job on my own hair cutting yesterday.

After lunch I stayed outside waiting for the dancers to begin their performance. I also took some Flip videos of them while they practiced. I understand that they were paid for their performance, not only monetarily but a lunch and two bottles of whiskey. After the guests had their lunch the performers had theirs. I wonder why we all didn’t eat at the same time. When the performers did eat though they sat on the floor in the dining room whereas we guests sat on chairs at the table; maybe that was the reason. (Note of May 12 : Prakash tells me that it is their custom not to eat with people of higher standards or did he say wealth? than themselves) Maybe the performers would feel uncomfortable eating with foreigners, I don’t know. I was told they would begin at 3:30 p.m. but as has been the custom here in India they began later, about 4:45 p.m., I think. Everyone sat out on the front lawn and the dancers and musicians performed in front of us. They were in local costume. The women were wearing all their jewelry. They wear very large nose rings, about 4” circumference, they attach a piece of the ring with a string to their ear, I think to hold up the weight. For their head-piece they put a plastic bottle under their head scarf to provide that pointed look. While one of the dancers danced, it fell off. We had been told before hand not to have any plastic bottles with us as the film crew was filming the performance and the show was an ecological friendly piece. The plastic fell on the ground and was at their feet while they danced. More than likely if that got into the piece, it will be cut out.

The men were wearing conical-shaped hats with a piece of cloth attached to the tip. Their top piece was a wool coat that was very gathered with a belt made of a very long piece of rope like material. I was told that the material for their coat was waterproof and that when it rains they can open up this coat and make it into a tent shaped structure that they can get into to keep themselves out of the rain. These village people are mountain people and they are used to being out in the elements in all kinds of weather. The men would be the ones out in the bad weather tending to their livestock while the women would be at home caring for it and the family.

The group performed about five dances but each one was very long. I was surprised at how long each dance lasted; I’d say about fifteen minutes. However long, the group looked tired after each one. Each dance had a story to it. Prakash told us what the dances were about. The instruments consisted of a very long horn, a flute, two kinds of drums and two female singers. For the last dance Prakash got up and began dancing. His wife, Sneh, joined him. It was the first time I had seen Sneh get into having a good time, always I just see her taking care of cooking and household chores. She smiled a lot today enjoying the visitors, the performers, the music and the dancing. It was music to my heart to see her having such a good time. Most of the audience joined the performers. I didn’t. My inhibitions kept me seated. But, I also took more pictures of everyone dancing. While the performance was going on I had myself a beer. Afterward I asked Nitin if I could sample some of that Indian rum he had told me about earlier. I ended up having two glasses of it from him. It’s called Old Monk’s Rum. It was smooth and pleasant tasting. Harry, a friend of mine from California, asked me to bring him back some Indian alcohol so I will try to bring that one back for him. I sat on the verandah outside the dining room with other guests and whiled away the time until it was time for dinner.

After dinner I went to sit with the NDTV crew. I asked Neha if I could have one of her cigarettes, my first since leaving home. My last one was January 30. For the night I had two. The crew was also enjoying rum. Well, that little party got a bit bigger and more rum was passed around. I did drink quite a bit tonight. I said goodnight about 11:00 p.m. still aware of my actions and able to walk up the stairs to my room so I thought I didn’t have too much.

May 11 – I got out of bed close to 7:00 am and went down to breakfast at that time as the big group was getting theirs at that time so decided to have mine at the same time. I did not feel good today. I drank too much alcohol last night. My stomach felt real bad. After breakfast I went back to bed. Well, I will not get into any more of how I felt because of my over indulgence of alcohol.

I decided to go to Chamba today as I heard the film crew was going in. I asked if I could go along with them in their vehicle and was told yes. Neha, the producer, told me they would be going in around 11:30 a.m. or so. I went down ready to go at that time. They were not ready so I was on the internet for a bit. They were still doing filming of this and that. Well, finally about 3:00 p.m. they were ready to leave the Hut.

During the time that I was waiting for them to begin their descent down the mountain I had a lot of time to just sit around and do nothing. I had an opportunity to talk with Phalguni. I was sitting on the verandah in front of the dining room waiting now for lunch to be made by Sneh for the crew. Phalguni and Nitin both ended up sitting with me for a bit. At one time both of them were there and I was asking Phalguni questions but Nitin kept answering for her. After a couple of questions I told Nitin to let Phalguni answer for herself. He said something to the effect that she wasn’t answering and I said it was because he was answering for her and he didn’t give her an opportunity to answer for herself. A few moments after I said that to him he got up and left. It was as if he didn’t have the desire to sit around and listen to his sister and I speak but if he could be a major participant in the conversation he would want to sit around for it.

Phalguni told me that she had an arranged marriage. Phalguni is about 36 years old. She has been married for four years. She said friends of her mothers who live in New Delhi knew her husband’s family. They arranged for her and her husband to meet. I asked her if she went out a few times with her husband before they got married so she could get to know him better. She told me she didn’t like the idea of doing that. I asked her a few questions about how the marriage works when you don’t even know the man, his likes, his dreams, his goals, his visions and in comparison to hers. She didn’t provide much information. She did acknowledge that her ideas may have to be set aside in deference to his. She told me though that her husband and her do talk about things before decisions are reached. I was happy to hear that. I found out she has a Bachelor’s Degree in Tourism. She wants to have two children. Her daughter, Pashi, is four and she is still breast feeding her. When she is five, Phalguni wants to have her second child. From what I can tell, all three sleep in the same bed but I truly have no idea where her husband sleeps as I never see him come out of the bedroom I do Phalguni and Pashi. Phalguni told me that the last time she went trekking was the year before she was married. Before her marriage she was a trekking guide herself. She said her husband also treks. I asked her if she would go trekking with her family. She said that now one of them has to watch her daughter so they both can’t go trekking together. I said she could leave Pashi with her parents but it was then that she said that yes, but her daughter still sleeps with her.

I know of another man interested in an arranged marriage who is in his 30s now who was born in Canada. He has lived in New Delhi for a few years now. I have seen a lot of arranged marriage ads in the newspapers. I think, but I do not know for certain, that people like the idea of an arranged marriage because it indicates that both parties are serious about wanting to get married whereas in the dating scene either party doesn’t know for sure what the results will be from their getting to know each other. Another thing in an arranged marriage is a lot of factors are looked at and based upon that information and perhaps the appearances of the parties a decision in reached. After that criteria is met both parties agree that that person will be their partner. The decision is reached and there is no turning back. Whether your relationship is a good one or not you’ve made the decision and you’ll do your best to make the marriage be okay. Arranged marriages are to ensure that man and woman become married, have a family and perpetuate the family line, no love needs to be involved in that. My western mind screams but what about your own aspirations, what you think is good in a marriage, what you personally want for your marriage, your home, your everyday life, your children? But those, alas, are all individual questions. In an arranged marriage the only individual, I believe, is the man. What the man wants is what happens, I think. Prakash told me that those that were involved in the arranging continue to be involved with the couple and help both of them when troubles might arise. It is the family, the community and not the self that is the deciding factors in an arranged marriage.

As I finally began to go to Chamba, Nitin and I walked ahead. Neha said that they would be filming as they walked so they would be going slower than I would. When she meant slower, she wasn’t kidding. I think it took them a few hours to finally get down the mountain. We went down a different way from the one I was familiar with. This one was shorter and much steeper. On the way down we met up with staff from the hut who were carrying supplies on their backs. There were about three guys, each carrying a pack that looked really big and heavy! One guy was even carrying in egg cartons about 3 dozen eggs. Man! How do they do that? One of the men had a pained expression to his face and looked like he was really having a hard time carrying that stuff up. His expression made me feel so sorry for him. Nitin said his face always looks that way. If they weren’t doing it for the Hut they would be doing it for their own family. We also had to walk across a very narrow bridge made out of rocks and pieces of wood. It was a very flimsy bridge and if Nitin was not walking in front of me and holding my hand I would not have dared to walk across it. I did walk across it and made no fumbles. I did it! If I would have had to go across that bridge on my own, I think I would have been on my hands and knees crawling to try to get across. More than likely I would not have gone up on that bridge but would have gone into the water and crossed over while enjoying the water.

After crossing the bridge Nitin learned that his cousin was on a motorcycle driving into Chamba and was on the road above us. He arranged for me to get a ride into town on a motorcycle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shit, Shit and triple shit! After crossing the ramshackle flimsy bridge, walking a few more feet and the road was there. I get on the backseat of the motorcycle fine. I do not see anything I can hold on to. I ask the driver if there is anything I can hold on to and he tells me no! No! I am to go down this windy road on a motorcycle with no helmet, with a walking stick in one hand and I have nothing to hold on to! What the hell is this? He says I can hold on to him. I do! I tell him thank you for giving me some comfort. With my left hand around his waist, my finger tips feeling his belly button (hee hee), my right hand is holding onto my walking stick and also on to the rim of the back seat we take off. Oh boy! Oh boy! What did I just jump into being arranged for me? Here I am with my backpack, no helmet, his cousin has no helmet either and we start riding down this one lane windy road, areas that are broken up, potholed, wet, slippery. Oh my God! This was not a short ride; it’s about 8 miles! There were a couple of times when we had to go by a very wide vehicle like a bus or one of those big hauling road maintenance trucks. Oh my God! I had thoughts of getting into an accident. Who wouldn’t? I’ve got only a few more days to be in India and now I get into an accident, a terrible one at that as we would probably slide off the mountainside from the one lane road we were on. Damn! All I can do is pray that he is a good rider with a heavy woman as his passenger. Every time I came to something that looking at it made me scared I just looked at this guys neck and only thought of what it looked like. I didn’t glance towards anything that would make me scared. My body at times was full of fear but I didn’t want it to be or it might cause my body to make a movement that would make it worse for the driver and would cause an accident. There were times when this road was going downhill steeply.

Just before we got into Chamba he stopped at someone’s house and came out with a helmet for himself to wear. I wonder what was in his brain that he decided to get a helmet for himself and why not one for me. We went into Chamba a way no bus would have taken me. With his motorcycle we went down the very narrow lanes, so narrow that if two motorcycles are passing they are almost touching. He did a great job of handling the bike with me on it. There were even times when we were going almost straight uphill and I was hanging on for dear life; others going down a steep hill and I was trying to lean back so I wouldn’t fall into him. My God! What a drive but he showed me a few streets in Chamba that I hadn’t seen before and were nice to be on. Too bad I don’t have the chance to check them out a bit more.

In Chamba I went to the ATM to get money to pay the Hut, I bought a baleen to roll chapati and paranthas, a few incense burner things, some incense and some Chamba shoes for Cara and myself. One of the incense burner trays I will give to the Dhami family to use for the ritual they do to greet their guests. I came back to the Hut in a jeep they had arranged for the college group. I then walked up the mountain for the third time. I do not know why but walking up this time was harder for me. My legs and knees were hurting. I walked with difficulty back up at the hut. When I got up it was difficult for me to move about. After eating dinner, about 9:00 p.m. I went to bed.

May 12 – Today I just concentrated on getting my journaling up to date. This document was started today and actually finished so that is what I wanted to accomplish today so I have done what I set out to today even though I slept like crazy! I also have felt very sleepy today. So not only did I sleep until 7:00 a.m. but after breakfast I came up to my room and slept for another hour. About 1:30 p.m. I put my sleeveless blouse and shorts on to sun bathe by the pool and go swimming but the sun decided to take a nose dive when I got out there. So that was a waste. I talked to Nitin some more and ended up having lunch in the kitchen with his mom and cousin sitting on a mat on the kitchen floor. After that I went up to my room to write some more. The weather was gray since about 3:00 p.m. About 6:30 p.m. I went to bed again! Wow! I sure felt like sleeping today. I do sometimes wonder if I like to sleep so much because I am depressed or what is the cause? There are times when I can just sleep, sleep, sleep. Other times when I’ve slept and I can sleep no more. I worry about my desire and habit of sleeping so much. Is it good for my health in the long run or is it because things are not well with my spirit that I do so. I didn’t go for dinner tonight as I was sleeping.

This will be my last writing here in India for today is Thursday. Today, tomorrow and Saturday I will just hang out outside all day long and do whatever is placed before me. On Sunday I leave this haven on earth and take a taxi to Chamba. In Chamba I get on a deluxe (???????) bus to take me to New Delhi. On Monday morning I arrive at the Interstate Bus Terminal in the north of New Delhi. From there I will take an auto rickshaw to my New Delhi home, the Sri Aurobindo Ashram. I am quite apprehensive about the weather in Delhi. Here in my little haven the weather has been most agreeable except for all the rain and gray days. The last weather report I got about Delhi is that it is a scorching heat; about 104 degrees. Monday I’ll rest a bit, unpack all of my luggage, go out to do some shopping and repack all of my luggage. On Tuesday I have to go to the dentist for the last time. I might go to the Gandhi Museum, the Khan Market and maybe the government emporium state shops. At 10:00 p.m. that night I will take a taxi to the airport. On Wednesday my plane departs at 1:10 a.m.

In ending my travels of India I would like to share with you some thoughts that I learned about myself from my readings of books Prakash has here in his lending library. The reason I say I have learned these things about myself is because when I read these concepts they so resonated with my spirit.

I am a child of the dawn. The dawn is what humankind is in now at this time in history. A new age for humankind is coming. Capitalism has generated a lot of greed, corruption and ecological destruction. Technology has generated a lot of abilities humans never had before, in particular the ability to be able to communicate with people all over the world within seconds. The ability to communicate with people all over the world so easily is the most magnificent gift we have been given because it will allow us to know so much more about others beliefs, customs, traditions, governments, family life, religious life, culture, food habits, all that a human is in connection with of people all over the world. The need to fight so much for nationalism and our tendency to fear others because we do not know about them will one day be eliminated. With this knowledge people will be able to go forward with their own decision as to how they want to live their own lives. They won’t be doing something because it is what they have been taught from their parents, relatives, community or government or expected of them but because their spirit has chosen what is best for it. Human copulation has generated over population of the earth, so much so that earth is not able to support all of the life that relies on it for its existence. Each day more humans are beginning to see the problems their choices have created on their earth today and are realizing their spiritual connectedness is a source to alleviate or solve these problems. This spiritual connectedness is also causing humans to be aware that the biggest force we can act with is that of love, loving one another, loving one self. With love, there can be no greed, craving for more possessions nor desire to use weapons upon another. With no longer wanting to live as a mass consumer, technology and spirituality combined, humankind is moving into their next stage of evolution, spiritual maturity and lifestyle. Because of my heart-felt concern for all that is going on with humans and our earth today and my desire to write what I feel about it I identify with being one of the children of the dawn.

I am one of the new spirits that has been sent here on earth for the express purpose of heralding in God’s time on earth. When humankind has been able to understand and live their life accordingly that it is only through love for all creatures – humans as well as animals, plants , any living thing and the planet(s) we might live on; when spirituality and technology are walking hand in hand . . . then God’s time on earth will finally be here. (Note: As to there being a God, of that I am not sure. I acknowledge “the SELF within” each one of us to be God and that we are all connected to one source. That source and our acknowledgment to our connectedness to it is the God I refer to) Since I was born my spirit has searched for the purpose of my existence. I have always wanted to know why, why to everything. There has been no peace, no rest, no calmness for me because wherever I was looking was in the wrong place to find my answers. My spirit knew the tasks I needed to do were not being done nor would they ever be done until I finally found the path I needed to be on. I am now being led by God and the universe to be in the areas where my purpose will be given unto me. Before I even got to this point I was given the advice “Open to all, attached to nothing.” Oh, how much that is helping me to be better able to do whatever is before me. I no longer have my agenda or my own perceptions directing me. I no longer feel it crucial that “I” nor my ego is present in the task before me. As I go about my tasks I need to remember the task is my responsibility but what the effects are on others is not for me to concern myself with. My tasks are for those that are placed before me by the universe; I am not to seek them out to come to me.

As I am now allowing my mind and body to unite with my soul . . . .

As I am now allowing my conscious mind and subconscious mind to join together to become a perfect mind . . . .

As I am now allowing myself to eradicate the suffering within myself that I have allowed to occur . . . As I am now walking on the path to peace and happiness and not causing the suffering of others . . . . . . I see myself as an ethical person, my writing as a tool to be editor of my life; my writing allowing me to have responsibility of my own life

and I believe that my writing, one of millions, will be a witness to the conditions that rob others of their voice. For each person who reads my writing what it speaks of may be different from that of another reader.

Good bye from India,

Nora Jean Vincent

May 13, 2010 / 08: 27 a.m.

No Big Deal, A Perspective About My Experiences in India

My No Big Deal Situations

May 10, 2010

. . . about 12 kilometers (about 7.5 miles) from the town of Chamba in the Panj-la Valley in a village called Chadiara

. . . . . . my being a loner does not help matters much

floating about throughout the day doing my own thing , out of their way , keeping myself with things to do , staying in my room , sleeping 9 – 12 hours a day , meditating , praying, sitting on my verandah watching the scenes in front of me as if they were a movie I was watching or just looking deep within my own thoughts , reading books, magazines , newspapers

matters –

getting to know the family well . . . how farm is operated . . . how organic is perceived here . . . knowing about their background . . . knowing about their blessings – hardships – trials . . . learning how to cook . . . schooling of any of them . . .

family

father , Prakash – mother , Sneh – eldest son , Nitin – eldest daughter , Phalguni – son-in-law , Naveen – youngest child son, Vinayak – only grandchild daughter Rupashi

I woke up this morning at 4:00 a.m. Today begins my countdown to the day that I leave here which is Sunday, May 16. From last night I go to bed at 9:00 / 10:00 p.m. and wake up by 3:00 / 4:00 a.m. I got my jeans and long sleeve warm pullover on. For some reason I felt I had to go through my clothes and shoes to see what stuff I can leave behind. When I gathered all my shoes I could not find my closed Columbia shoes I had bought just before I left home. I could not, for the life of me, remember where I had last seen them. All I could think of was that I had left them in some room I had left behind, never to see them again. Oh well, I thought to myself, I guess that can be an expense as to how much this trip cost me. Them, along with my UV filter and lens cap for my camera that along the way here in India I have lost possession of. Having resigned myself to no longer having those shoes I had an idea of looking in the shoe closet here at the Hut to see if somehow they had gotten in there.

After doing this and that I finally sat down to meditate at 5:20 a.m. I told myself that I would go down to look for my shoes after I had finished meditating. My mind still races everywhere while I meditate but I keep bringing my mind back to love, peace, calm, impermanent – everything is impermanent. If a teacher were able to get into my meditating head, I’m sure I would get an “F” For me, right now, the mere fact, no, take that back, the mere act that I’m doing it is sufficient for me. It helps me to be ever mindful of where I want myself to be in how I deal with the world and all that is around me. These last couple of days I’m just concentrating on keeping my body still – once my hands are placed, once my feet are placed, once my eyes are closed, once my head is gazing forward — all of that , keep it in that position, do not move any of those parts. Focus my brain towards the area between my eyes, look at my nose, think only of breathing normally – in through the nose, out through the nose. Think only . . . think only . . . in . . . out . . . in . . . out . . . just think of breathing. Ah, how I wish I could. My mind! Will it ever stop having all these thoughts coming into it? There are moments in each session when there is actually a time period when no thought is conscious to me, I see a white slate before me and I feel so calm. I pray that someday I will be able to have a whole hour, if not more, filled with such quietness! Perhaps then I will be able to meet with my spirit within and converse with it purely.

After meditating, as I promised myself, I went down to the shoe closet to see if my dear sweet comfortable and not cheap Columbia shoes, the ones I planned on wearing home on the airplane were there. Eureka! They were there! I don’t even remember having worn them while here at the Hut but I guess I must have. It was probably a cold morning and I had worn them to go out past the house, I had taken them off down there where everybody leaves their shoes before walking within the house and somehow forgotten all about them. Not usual for me but Thank You, God, for them not being gone out of my sight forever. By the way, can my dear reader sense a great deal of “attachment” I have to these shoes? I’m not supposed to be doing that if I want to live a life on the path of enlightenment. It’s one of the causes of suffering and boy was I suffering this morning when I had thought I no longer had those shoes to ever wear again.

I began the rest of my morning with the intent of getting up to date with my journaling. As you can see from the first page I was rambling about what little I did know about the family and this house I’d been living in for almost a month. I was into remorse about my habits and there not getting me into any familiarity with these subjects. After about an hour I decided to go down to the kitchen in the hopes that Sneh and others would be there getting breakfast ready for the twenty plus people now staying at the Hut. I was rewarded with not only Sneh being there but she was making potato stuffed paranthas. They are so good. I asked her if I could have one. I didn’t want to take one before it was actually breakfast time but in fact they’re cool about people asking for what they want regardless of whether its the right time or not. Sneh cooks her potatoes, mashes them, adds chives and onions to the mix. She takes a ball of this and puts it into a round of paranta dough, wraps the dough around this ball, then rolls it out. She puts this round pattie on a hot grill, browns one side, spoons some oil on the top side, turns it over and spoons some more oil on the other side, browns it a bit more and flips it one more time. Done! Truly a comfort food for the masses, if I do say so myself. I sat by the fireside and her while she cooked one after the other. Not only did I have one but I had two! Along with two cups of chai (aka milk tea).

I was happy to sit with her while she worked in the kitchen. It was what I had hoped for when I went down there because I wanted to have more time with her to be able to spend time with her in the hopes that I would learn more from her. I think she doesn’t understand my English completely so sometimes when I ask her a question I don’t get an answer to that question but to the question she thinks I have asked her. When she cooks, she doesn’t tell me what or why to what she is doing, nor does she tell me what ingredients she is adding to the dish. She said she learned how to cook by watching. Watching . . . I have heard that many fine artisans have taught their apprentices this way. No words are spoken. It is up to the apprentice to find out how the technique is done, what tool is used, what material is chosen, what finish is applied, etc. etc. etc. I have never had to be in a situation like that so with the understanding that I have of that scenario at this time it seems like an impossible task. I am not in that situation nor do I have to be so to be able to accomplish that is a mystery to me. I’m having a hard enough time trying to figure out what spice she added since I can’t see the container it came out of nor can I determine what spice it is just by its color or texture. That fact alone tells you how poor of a cook I am.

“So, Elder Sister, what can you teach me about life?’ I asked Sneh. The first week I was here she felt sorry for my stomach upsets and told me that she had no younger sister and she felt like I was her younger sister. With that in mind I decided I would approach her so that I could learn more from her. Her first response was that women are all different, some go out to do work, some stay home to do work, some do no work, everywhere all women have had different life experiences, different family experiences, different home experiences, no where are there any woman alike. She would not be able to teach me anything. After a moment, however, she said “In the family, a woman is to compromise, it is a woman’s job to see to it that there is no disturbing in the family, a woman’s job is to accept.” I told her that my ayurvedic doctor had said something along those lines and had added that for a woman to do that it is actually part of her spiritual growth. Sneh agreed with that.

One day, I’m sure as Cara says she wants to be married and have a family, I will be a grandmother so I asked Sneh, how she is as a grandmother. Does she remain quiet and allow her daughter to work with her granddaughter, to correct her when she needs it. Sneh told me that everyone watches over her grandchild and tells her when she needs to be corrected. I think that is a good thing; it takes a village to raise a child. I will add though that I saw her grandchild want to play with the peas. Sneh’s first response was to not let her take them, then she gave in and allowed her grandchild to have the peas. Her grandchild played with the peas, spilled them on the floor and what Sneh did with those peas after the child played with them, I don’t know but I sense they went into the dish Sneh was planning to use them in before the child played with them. Now, from my perception, that is not correcting the child but giving her free rein; after all who wants to eat peas when you know they have been played with by a child’s hands and have fallen on to the ground?

I sat there watching her cook, sitting by the fire, making parata after parata after parata. She had a big bowl of dough before her, about 12” in circumference and 6” deep and it was full to the brim of dough. To cook all that dough, to feed the twenty plus people anxiously awaiting their breakfast that was to be served in less than an hour, she had only one grill pan (the same kind I use to make Swedish pancakes but a little over half the size) on that wood burning stove. I thought she could make those things so much faster if she had two grills but then I thought, that’s my perception, when in fact what she was doing was perhaps more meditative for her than a chore. That too is my perception but she looked so calm sitting there, legs crossed next to her stove, one like that, that has been used for hundreds of years.

As I sat, breaking small pieces of paranta from my whole and eating a little piece at a time, keeping quite most of the time, seeing the hustle and bustle of those around her getting all the little things ready for the meal to be served in such a short while, I tried to think of things I could say to her or questions I could ask her so that I could learn more from her. I was not successful. When I spoke to her I could see that she stopped or paused her preparations and I thought that was not a good thing, that I was disturbing her so that made me be silent also. I came away with not much more information from her about her, her family, her home, her house. Well, that is something I am going to have to learn how to do. I need to ask God to show me how. When I got up to leave, I bowed before her and said “Thank you, Elder Sister” and left the kitchen.

When I left the kitchen I asked for a pot of tea so that I could take it up to my room and have while I continued my writing, now having fed myself with human interaction I had my energy to burn for continued writing. I got up to my room and as I went to my laptop, no light. Ugh! While I was in the kitchen the lights had gone out. I had forgotten that when I asked for my pot of tea! No electricity , no work on my laptop! This happens a lot here at the Hut! I think there should be a price reduction on the days when there is no electricity, especially for those that are staying here for the purpose of being able to write such as myself! Yes, I do know that I can use my laptop on its battery but the fact is, my battery doesn’t have a very long life. When it is fully charged, indicating 100%, its life is actually only about 2 ½ hours! Bum deal I got because its written specification said it had about eight; probably without anything running on it.

Not able to write, a cup of hot tea in my hand, I decided just to go outside to the front lawn to mingle with anyone that crossed my path. Neha, the television producer happens to be the one. We had a nice chat and she showed me some of her pictures on her laptop of some of the places her work has taken her. (She has an Acer laptop by the way.) While I was chatting with her she asked me if she and her crew could interview me for the program. I shyly demurred from the opportunity. The name of the show she is filming the Hut and this area of Himachal Pradesh for is called “No Big Deal.” I had told her earlier that my journey here is the antithesis of that title.

As to why my journey is the antithesis of the title “No Big Deal” permit me to explain. Many of the tasks I did to be on this journey were very big deals to me; many were done by me for the very first time.

1. 1. 1. Making the decision to go on this trip knowing for the length of time that I felt I needed to be on it that it would mean no longer having my job
      2. Deciding to go on a trip with no one to go along with me, something I have never done in my entire life, except for little short trips driving in my own car
      3. Going to a country far , far away that I have never been before and once again all on my own, and not knowing anyone in this unknown, strange, far away country
      4. Finding a connection here in New Delhi, establishing and maintaining that connection to assist me as I got familiar with India and some of its ways
      5. Contacting an ashram, an ashram, a holy place, and asking them about accommodations for the first leg of my journey after I had landed in a country never before visited, all by myself, with customs and a language I had no knowledge about
      6. Going out on to the streets of Delhi all by myself, asking for an auto rickshaw to take me to places I have never been before
      7. Getting on a public bus, asking if they go to such and such a place, getting off and getting to where I want to go
      8. Finding a medical facility to get exams and tests done
      9. Finding a dentist and getting an extensive amount of work done
      10. Asking how to go by bus for over a half hours’ journey and then finding my next transportation to get to my final destination
      11. Going to the major Inter State Bus Terminal (ISBT) in New Delhi to see if I could find what bus to take me to a course I signed up for south of Gurgoan, Haryana; dealing with the only Hindi signs, the calling out of the bus staff of where their bus is going and not understanding a word of it, the hordes of people, the stares, the filth, the looks of urine having been emptied in any nook and cranny, and the stench. Getting nowhere and yet going to still a few more places still trying to find a bus that will take me to my destination.
      12. Realizing that all I need to accomplish is being happy and at peace and that whatever the universe places in front of me to do, doing it while being happy and at peace is my purpose for existing.
      13. Realizing that “I” has been a major attachment of mine and that by eliminating my attachment to “I” and my ego my path to happiness and peace will become so much easier.
      14. Being told by Sri Aurobindo Ashram that I could not extend my stay there and that I would have to be out of my room with in 48 hours not having a clue of where to go next or where I might stay in the city
      15. Making the decision to leave Delhi and travel on my own so that I could see more of India, alone, with only a back pack on my back and a student pack as my daily bag.
      16. Getting rid of more than two thirds of the stuff I brought with me so that I would only have those two bags to continue with me as I traveled elsewhere on my own
      17. Arriving at a guest house in Vashista just outside of Manali only to find my room is up two very steep sets of stairs and is still occupied by people still asleep in the bed.
      18. Deciding not to take this Vashista guest house room and being yelled at by the owner that I have to take the room or he’ll loose money, that I’m arrogant, have no heart and continuing to be yelled at as I walk down the main street of the town with my luggage on my back and my chest.
      19. Deciding to go to Chamba, a non tourist place, 18 hours by bus from Manali, not having any knowledge from anyone or anything about Chamba other than what I read in India Lonely Planet
      20. Calling the proprietor of Orchard Hut and deciding I would stay at his home after learning that I had to walk up a mountainside, “only a half hour walk, a little walk” the daughter of the establishment told me to my face. “Open to all, attached to nothing.” When I learned I would have to walk up to the Hut, my initial thought was to say forget it, I’m not going but that would not be living up to “Open to all, attached to nothing.” Regardless of what I wanted to do, I had to push it down and say yes, I would walk up that hill to get to this farmer’s guest house out in a peaceful rural valley.
      21. The final Big Deal – deciding to let Orchard Hut be my last place to visit while in India so that I could be responsible for nothing, so that I could enjoy nature. I decided to stay at a place for a very long period of time just to be able to have an opportunity to not be on the go, see something new, experiencing another piece of India, getting in another mode to transportation to take me to my next leg of my journey. Here I could sit and watch, meditate, write as much as I wanted, give myself time to not have my mind full of all that I could be doing, needed to be doing. Back at home I do not take the time to be in nature enough so here in India, I would take in nature, let its energy feed me. I know my spirit needs nature’s energy to feed me; it is one of the energies I’m deficient in.
      22. The Finale of all Big Deals is deciding that for me to stay at the Hut I would challenge myself to walk these mountainsides. I told myself that I would have to gain another perspective of them so that I no longer thought it “asinine” to desire to trek.

Dear Reader, I have failed the last one. I am almost ready to leave the Hut and I still think it asinine to want to live on these mountainsides. “No Big Deal” the locals would say to these mountainsides! Bah, Humbug! Is what I have to say to all the locals and to trekkers everywhere! I am here to attest to all “That it is a Big Deal!” It seems too difficult to me to live this way. To do anything away from the house one has to walk down a mountain and to get back to the comfort of one’s own home you have to walk up that mountain. It’s steep, there are some pretty big stretches those legs have to take! All the items in your home have to be carried on someone’s back, washing machines, refrigerators, toilets, sinks, to name a miniscule amount. Nope, nope, nope.

May 6, after being here almost three weeks, I finally walked away from the house and on to a path. (well, not the truly first time as a week earlier I had gone past the pool to take that path as I had been told that walking up that path I would find some lovely views and a nice flat area along my walk. I was easily dissuaded by the very narrow path I saw before me. I will call that path a sheep path, it is so narrow and right along side a steep overhang to my so very immediate left. No, not for me! Definitely asinine! (so sorry, all you trekkers!) The path I took? The only one I knew. The one that I had come up on. I knew I needed to walk down it to go back to Delhi so might as well try walking on it. Its path was better worn and made out. I knew it was the only safe path for me that I could be sure of as I had already had experience on it.

I know that to use the word asinine is a very strong word and I actually find myself hesitant to verbalize or write the word but it is truly what I feel deep within myself when I think of wanting to walk these steep paths. I hesitate to use that word because I know I have judged someone’s way of life in a negative way, a put down. I do not mean for it to come across that way as I am completely aware that another’s way of life is what they are comfortable with and enjoy doing. I am totally unfamiliar with having to walk and exist day to day with steep walk ways such as this. I know if I had been born into this mode of getting around I would find nothing at all asinine about it. I asked Vinayak, the youngest son of this house, what he thought about having to walk up and down these 60 degree paths and he said it is all he has known so he doesn’t even consider it to be a bother. In fact he told me that when he is in a hurry he can get to the road in five minutes! (Dear Reader, let me tell you, it takes me an hour just to get down to the road. How the locals must get a good laugh out of the sight of me!)

This morning when I was sitting in the kitchen and talking with Sneh as she cooked, I asked her if she has ever thought of building a house closer to the road where she doesn’t have to walk up this hill, thinking that one day it will be harder for her to get down and up this mountainside, maybe even impossible, for her to walk down and up it anymore. She told me no, that it was too noisy by the road, that was all she had to say. While she said no more, I thought back on the fact that she has had a heart surgery and a few other serious surgeries, that she has never walked to the trekkers hut above her home in all the years she has lived here, that she has told me that she finds it difficult to walk up the hill, that she might leave her house at the most once a week, usually maybe only twice a month . . . and yet she has no thoughts of a house elsewhere but on the side of this mountain where everywhere one turns is a sixty degree angle. All around the house the land is either up or down, no flat area anywhere. The house itself rests flatly on the land because of all the removal of land that must have been done before the house was even laid down.