India and What I Miss that’s Not Here

Reflecting on my daily life at home in Los Angeles, California, USA and looking in India upon the places I place my feet each day and the activities I find myself involved in and thinking of a question my friend, Marlene, asked me about being home sick I thought about the differences I am experiencing during my stay here in India.

I thought about writing this to you a week ago and indeed at that time I perceived it as what I miss but today I actually see it as what I do differently now that I am in India.

Bathing – here I use a bucket or pail and fill it up with water. There is a shower head but only one faucet that turns on that water and I don’t get hot water. I have come to find out that when it is hot here and it hasn’t got that hot as yet, the cold water is just what I will want for my shower. There are two faucets below the shower faucet that give me my choice of cold or hot water. For now I prefer hot. When my bucket is full, I take a 4 cup container and fill it with water from the bucket and begin pouring it all over my body to get me wet. After shampooing, washing face and body I then start pouring more water all over me to rinse off. My initial requirement for water was two buckets of water but I’m quite proud of myself as I am only using one bucket now and even not a full bucket. (the great water conservationist that I am!!!!!!!!!! lol)

Whereas at home I got into the bathtub and turned on that shower faucet and let it run until I was completely finished with my shower. I had tried to turn off the water while taking a shower but I didn’t have the mind-set of enjoying the water off while I soaped up. Now I’m quite agreeable to it and hope to continue this practice back at home. As well as I took a bath whenever my little heart desired. Here I have no bath to even begin to make that choice. So as is my custom to soak in a tub and attend to my cuticles I do not have that available here. Tomorrow, for the first time since arriving here, I will soak my feet and fingers in a plastic bucket and hopefully I will do the job as well in that fashion.

Eating – it is buffet style here at the ashram and it is pretty much the same weekly. And it’s rice, rice, rice, rice, (even breakfast food is riceeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Every meal is rice as well as potatoes, it seems) potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, peas, peas, peas, peas, carrots, carrots, carrots, beans, beans, beans, beans (beans are even for breakfast), onions, onions, onions, onions, curd (like yogurt yet more liquid), curd, curd, curd, curd, chipati (a wheat bread shaped like a tortilla), chipati, chipati, chipati, hot milk, hot milk, hot milk, hot tea with milk, hot tea with milk, hot tea with milk, water, water, water, water, lemon water, lemon water, lemon water.

When I first got here I asked for everything on the buffet for each meal on my plate. I am proud to say that I now look at what is available and I choose what I think will be nutritious for me that moment as well as less quantity than what is usual for America and only one starch a meal if none. I no longer have any food with potatoes in it as I was told that root foods are not good for you. Why? I don’t remember the reason given to me but it was told to me by a Bengali woman from London who I met here. She is into Reiki and other health practices. Since there is rice and bread I feel not having potatoes will not do me any harm. They seem too heavy to me anyhow so I am content with that decision.

As to the less quantity, when I was at my meditation course at one of my meals towards the end of the course, a woman in her 60s sat next to me. This was the breakfast meal and all she had on her plate was a rice cake (not like what we have in America) and a fruit and some tea. That was all and to boot she had not had a meal the night before as she was there for her second time. Those coming a second time are not allowed to have anything for the evening meal except a glass of lemon water!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her breakfast portions shamed me. Up to that meal I was having portion sizes that I saw others having not taking into account that they were younger than I and probably with a higher metabolism. I am very happy to say that I am very conscious of the quantity I am receiving and not taking everything in the buffet. I am concentrating on having fruits, vegetables and protein at a meal if I am given that choice. I am also trying to be satisfied with the serving size that is served me. (Although the food is served buffet style, each dish has a person assigned to serve those in line) I get the feeling that the people serving me are looking at this fat white woman and deciding that I have eaten too much before coming to the ashram and automatically decide for me that the serving amount they give me is all that I need so that I will loose that fat they see me carry! Rather than tell them I would like some more I am trying to button my lips and continue through the line attempting to be content with the amount decided for me by others. I know that we Americans put way too much food on our plates at each meal so I am quite in agreement and am aiming to eat the same quantities if not less that they do here in India. The only time access to food is available is at meal times so if I miss them there’s no refrigerator raids available.

This morning I was at someone’s home and was offered apples, oranges and grapes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was probably being a pig but I chose three pieces of fresh fruit as to date the offering of fruit has been very minimal. I also was given a hard boiled egg and as much coffee as my little heart desired! I even had two small sweets with chopped almonds in it with my coffee!! I was elated and as happy and cozy as could be with such a breakfast! I felt like I was being treated as a queen! lol

When there is a soda available when I go out I usually go for it but I think I’m winding down on that urge** now. Here at the ashram and at the meditation center there is no soda to be seen.

Dishes here seem to be stainless steel almost everywhere I have gone. Even their hot drinks are in stainless steel cups which I do not find conducive to my habits as the cup gets so hot my fingers can’t even hold the cup if I have hot milk or tea in it. I brought gloves with me so I wear them so that I can hold the cup. To avoid the cup from getting so hot I’ve been advised to not fill the cup up to the top as is my habit (yes, I know, I’m consuming less quantity of food so my next challenge is to put less hot beverage in my cup as well – I say as I put my lips into a frown of “don’t want to go there.” )

Whereas in America anytime I had a craving for any food or beverage I would just hop in my car and go to the store and buy it. I ate poorly in America – no set time nor balance nor good food so I am praying that by my return home these new habits will be with me as I truly appreciate the food and its benefits and gift to me and not just for me to satisfy my craving** for the moment.

Transportation – To go anywhere I must either walk, take a bus, go on a auto rickshaw (a three wheel motorcycle with a back seat and canopy on top and overhang on sides.) That overhang on the sides makes me have to stoop my head down so that I can have a good look as I’m traveling so I do not think the design of that was a good one lol.

Taking a bus may require I go running after it to get on in the back door or stand as they are usually very crowded and I mean bursting at the seams or if crowded there may be a possibility that an Indian man standing next to me may take the liberty of groping me as it is common for men to do that to the ladies here in the buses under those crowded conditions. (FYI – one thing they have done to try to eliminate that is to have the ladies get on the bus at the front door and the men must get on at the back door)

Since I have no idea where any of these buses go and there is no printed schedule informing me of this, I choose the auto rickshaw as I tell the driver where I want to go and he tells me how much he will charge. That charging is another thing, drivers can charge the rider whatever they want. The other night I wanted to go back to the ashram and the driver wanted Rs300!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for a ride that usually costs only Rs70. The second driver that night wanted Rs150 and finally agreed to Rs90 and then to top it off had no idea how to get where I wanted to go so we were lost driving here and there for maybe 10 minutes. He even had to stop the rickshaw, get out and go off somewhere I know not where or why for about five minutes. Eventually he was on the right road and in the right direction but he still wasn’t sure so he stopped again and asked an Indian woman if she spoke English and could she find out from me where I wanted to go as he had no idea what I was speaking to him. He then even asked her if she wanted to join me which is a thing not acceptable in rickshaws but I didn’t care whether she rode with me or not; in fact I found the company agreeable. At my destination I only gave him Rs70 as he got lost, deserted me for many minutes and had a second fare within my fare. I was told that what I did was correct.

Whereas in America, no matter how short the distance I would find myself getting in my car. Perhaps upon my return I will have the mind set to not even drive my car and begin taking buses or walking as I have been here.

BED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Much to my surprise I am actually getting used to their beds but OMG when I first got here I was thinking you have got to be kidding. My first day here I was suffering from jet lag. It was very very cold, it was dismal and gray and I wanted to sleep until I felt like sleeping no more. Not only did I have a bed as hard as a rock to me but the blankets that I found didn’t keep the cold from penetrating to my body so I was totally miserable and still wanting to stay in bed and sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!! The bed frames are made of wood. Even in people’s homes the bed frame is made of wood! I was so hoping that it would have been a metal frame with springs or a box mattress; no such luck! The mattress is about 3” if not less thick!! As far as I’m concerned I am sleeping on a table!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And if you can believe it, the bed at the meditation center was even harder. I think the mattress there was about 1” thick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The pillows given to me have been so thin it was as if I had none or so hard I actually felt as if I had a rock under my head or neck but I am happy to say that even in this I am adapting.

As to sheets ( ha ha ha ha ha hahahahaha . . . ) one laying on top of mattress. Thank you very much , that is it. I did bring my own in case of that event. But when I leave here and go up to Uttarakhand I plan to leave whatever will not fit in my backpacker’s backpack. So the choice for me then may be sheets / ?????????? At the moment I’m not sure what would be the wisest choice. I hope to learn more about what is there to make the right decision.

Whereas at home I have, in my opinion, the most comfy of beds and even a tempura pedic like pad on top of the mattress and 600 thread count sheets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

Laundry — my first load was very improvisational. I didn’t have any laundry detergent as I had no idea where to get any. I was here over a week before I found out on my own that machines were on the roof and clothes lines were also there, no dryers. With my first attempt at laun deringI took a few clothes at a time and soaked them in a bucket of water with my laundry bar of soap I brought with me from home providing me with the necessary detergent to clean my clothes. I did this here in my bathroom. I then took up the clothes wet and put them in the machine and washed them.

To get to the machines I walk up 70 steps and arrive at the rooftop. The walk up those steps is a good cardiovascular exercise as well as a rewarding sight to see all around the ashram from the rooftop. I went up there one night and was blessed with seeing fireworks going off in a far distance. I don’t know why they were going off but I enjoyed them. So, so far, I’ve had two loads of wash each time I do laundry. The machine seems to be to be about half the capacity as the one I have at home so that requires doing more than one load at a time regardless. One light and one dark. No whites load only for me as there is no hot water or bleach to do my whites as I have been taught. I walk up and down for one load. I walk up and down for the second load. I walk up and down to get all the dry clothes. Mama mia.

Someone told me that a majority of people have their laundry picked up by a dohji; a person who works at doing others laundry. The ashramites that live here, in fact, do that. Up till I discovered machines were available for us I thought I might be learning how to wash my clothes by hand , one by one. In fact when I was at the meditation center, that is what I in fact did. The idea of actually washing my clothes by hand, one by one, applying soap to stains as needed, etc. etc., etc. and rinsing them so all the soap is gone really overwhelmed me. I thought it would be so difficult for me to do as I had always used a washing machine but here again, I did it and did it quite well; just using buckets, bar of laundry soap and running water from a faucet. The clothes came out clean and soap free as far as I could tell!

Whereas at home I walk out my back door and there is my machine. A few steps and voila!!!!!!!!!!!! A few more steps and I too have my clothesline! I also can do more items in a load.

Toilet paper —– the natives do not use it here. They use water and their left hand! Their left hand?????? I have been told they do not offer their left hand to anyone. I do not yet know the particulars as yet. My friend, Hari (a male) has offered to give me the details on the procedure but I haven’t got to that stage of discussion on this topic as yet. I’ve got bits and pieces but not the whole picture so haven’t gotten into their practice in that area as yet. One roll of toilet paper costs over a dollar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! VERY EXPENSIVE in my opinion. I actually had a roll last me more than 2 weeks and yes, I do use it every time I use the toilet!!!!!!!!!! It’s quite comical actually for me as I use two or three sheets depending upon the job!

Whereas at home a four pack of toilet paper may cost a bit over a dollar and I just flick that roll with my hand and take a good amount of paper each time I want to use it. I think a roll may last me about half a week! What a huge difference, hu? I thought I used a sufficient amount at home but , in fact, I used more than enough. What a surprise. Well, I’m all for using less of everything and now I’ve learned to even use less of this. I’m amazed at how much I, an American, think is necessary to use, consume, have, whatever! I am happy to learn things such as this so that I do become even more of a smaller usage consumer.

Toilet —- the one used throughout india, up to a few decades ago has been the one that is level with the floor. It requires one to squat to use it. I have been told that it is actually better for you as this squatting strengthens your legs, your urinary sphincter (might be using wrong word for that but keeps females who have had babies from becoming incontinent) and your back. I am happy to report I have not had a room with this type of toilet and I’m quite happy using my western one that has been in each of my accommodations so far. I did bring along my hiking urinating tool so that I may stand like a man and still not have to squat. That squatting seems to me to be a messy operation and I have spoken to an Indian woman about this messiness and she agrees with me that it can be messy. Why one wants to splatter pee on your legs and pants is not yet understood by me. The edges of your pants tend to touch the floor and what wet substance is there (someone else’s pee / water / I don’t know) gets on your garment.

** urges and cravings are items that in Vipassana as we become more aware that our need / want for something falls within this category we allow our mind to be the master and instead say no to that urge / craving. Along with this same way of thinking a daily reading out of Eknath Easwaran’s “Words to Live By” book was the thinking that your body is your buddy and that allowing your body to intake whatever it is urging / craving has your body telling you what to do not you telling your body what it needs. More of this type of thinking for me will be of great benefit so I’m quite eager to have more control in this area.

I probably have not covered all that I miss / do differently here but this is quite long as it is so I will end this paper for now. Perhaps more such items will be shared in future communications.